I've been thinking about loneliness a lot lately. My life has changed dramatically from a 28 years together with the one I thought was the love of my life to suddenly seeing myself in a completely different manner.
I already reflected that I lived my life more with her than without her.
Well, it just so happens that I am now in this situation and reflecting a lot about my own life.
I am waking up for things like choosing my own clothes, taking care of my own stuff, cleaning my own mess.
Although it is frustrating, mostly to the fact that this is all new, being new doesn't mean necessarily being bad. To the contrary.
You know, right now I am attending a seminar for 650 people, and perhaps from those 649 are accompanied by someone, and I am not. Is this really bad?
I took the decision to eat just a little, spent about 1/2 hour on a phone call, stepped away from dinner early and nobody asked me anything about any of my decisions!!! Why? Because they affected noone but myself. And quite honestly, this is a hell of a good feeling!
So, although it makes me feel bad seeing all these families together, I am perhaps happier than most of them on my own way. Because I am not worst, I am just different!
And discovering myself has been a beautiful thing, despite what will be the outcome of all this mess.
Anyway, this is a good reflection among all that I am having lately.
I still believe a lot in marriage, I still believe a lot in family, and perhaps this is just a matter of time until I am back into one.
But the process I am going through right now has been wonderful, and through pain we learn much, much more. And of course, there is fun beyond the pain, and fun is what life is all about!!
So, here's to life as a continuous improvement process!!!! :-)
See you around...